How to Remove Daily Stress and Set Boundaries for Your Health with Jenn Fast

Have you ever looked around at your life and thought, This can't be it?

Maybe you're exhausted, overwhelmed, saying yes to everyone else, and wondering why you feel so disconnected from yourself. Burnout doesn't happen overnight, and neither does creating a life that truly aligns with who you are.

In this week's episode of Isn't She Powerful, I sit down with burnout and reinvention coach Jenn Fast to talk about what it really means to reinvent your life. After experiencing frightening health challenges of her own, Jenn made the courageous decision to leave her career, repair her marriage, prioritize her health, and intentionally build a life that reflected her values instead of everyone else's expectations.

Together, we unpack the connection between chronic stress, burnout, people-pleasing, and poor health (and most importantly, what you can do to change it).

Jenn shares a practical framework for identifying when it's time for a life reset, how to reconnect with your values, and why boundaries aren't selfish, they're essential.

Whether you're feeling stuck in your career, overwhelmed by family responsibilities, struggling to prioritize your health, or simply sensing that something needs to change, this conversation will leave you feeling empowered to take your next step.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What "reinvention" actually means, and why it doesn't require starting your life over
• How to recognize the warning signs of burnout before they become a crisis
• Jenn's personal journey through health challenges and how they transformed her life
• Why living out of alignment with your values creates chronic stress
• A simple process for identifying what truly matters to you
• Practical ways to remove unnecessary stress from your daily life
• Why setting boundaries feels so uncomfortable (and why it's worth doing anyway)
• Boundary scripts for difficult conversations with family, spouses, coworkers, and yourself
• How to stop people-pleasing without feeling guilty
• Small steps you can take today to begin your own reinvention

If you've been waiting for permission to make a change, this episode is it. Reinvention doesn't happen all at once. It happens through small, intentional decisions that bring you closer to the life you truly want.

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Connect with Jenn Fast

Website: Reinvention with Jenn Fast | Burnout Recovery & Midlife Transformation 

Instagram: @itsjennfast

The Comeback Show Podcast: The Comeback Show - Podcast - Apple Podcasts 

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WORK WITH LAURA:

• Seismic Shift: Group Health Coaching (code POWERFUL for 10% off)
• 1:1 Coaching

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💌 Connect With Laura:

1. Website: Health Coach for Teachers & Busy, Working Women
2. Instagram: LAURA B. | Teacher turned Health Coach | Podcaster🎙️ (@laura.b.healthy) • Instagram photos and videos
3. TikTok: Laura B. | Health Coach (@laura.b.healthy) | TikTok

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Be sure to follow Jenn for more encouragement, practical strategies for preventing burnout, and guidance on creating a life that feels aligned with your values.

If this episode encouraged you, I'd love for you to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need a reminder that it's never too late to create a healthier, happier life.

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Topics covered in this episode: burnout, burnout recovery, reinvention, life transition, healthy habits, stress management, reducing stress, boundaries, setting boundaries, people pleasing, self-care, personal growth, mindset, health journey, values-based living, work-life balance, marriage, relationships, family boundaries, workplace boundaries, emotional health, women over 40, behavior change, wellness, health podcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey everybody, and welcome back to another episode of the Isn't You Powerful podcast. My name is Laura B Healthy, and I am so excited to have you here with me today because I am joined by an incredible guest. I am joined by Jen Fast. Jen is a burnout and reinvention coach. And as she's going to share in this episode, Jen went through a pretty scary battle with her health. She had some things that came up that were really scary to her, and it caused her to question a lot about her life. She started to wonder, am I in the right relationships? Do I have the right habits? Do I have the right career? And so Jen made some very big changes. She ended up leaving her corporate job that she had worked at for a very long time. She ended up going on a pretty incredible health journey. She rekindled her relationship with her husband and decided that they were going to make that relationship work for both of them. And Jen healed herself from literally the inside out. She changed what was happening around her so that she could change what was happening within her. And she's going to share that story with us. She's going to help you understand how you can apply some of these things that she does with her coaching clients that she did for herself to not just reinvent your life. Like maybe you're like, I'm pretty overall happy with my life, but I have this health journey that I can't seem to figure out. She's going to help us apply these concepts to your health journey, to other big decisions that you have to make in life, and she's going to help talk us through setting boundaries with our coworkers, with our family members, with our friends, and even with ourselves, which is a really big, important piece of the conversation. After this, if you'd like to learn more from Jin, if you have any questions for her, you can head on down into the show notes. You're gonna find all of the information for her there. And I'm sure she would love to hear from you. And for now, let's welcome Jin to the podcast. Welcome to the Isn't You Powerful Podcast. I'm your host, Laura B, health coach, educator, and founder of the Be Healthy Lifestyle. I'm here to bring you all of the health education and motivation so that you can sign off each week feeling equipped and empowered to tackle all of your health goals. Come along with me as I teach you the basics of healthy living so that you can have everyone in your life say, Isn't she powerful? Alright, Jen, hello and welcome to the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 2:39

Thanks so much for having me. It's a pleasure to be here.

SPEAKER_00 2:41

I'm so excited to get to have the conversation with you on my podcast. We have recorded for your podcast already. So anybody listening, please go over, listen to the comeback show. Go over there and subscribe so that you get the notification whenever my episode comes out for the comeback show. But with that, Jen, I want to start off by you talking a little bit about your story. And you have a really incredible story of like you realized, okay, I have some health issues, some things going on here. And I know that your doctor was like, you have got to make some major changes, and you made those major changes. And so I want to talk about what was the health story looking like that led you to then reinventing yourself, which is the core of the conversation that we're gonna have today. Start us off there. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Well, I had what looked like a very successful life for a long time. I had a 30-year corporate career in a very high pressure environment. I did executive support in tech and biotech companies, including companies like Amazon, which is known to be high pressure, and I was very good at it. I made a lot of money at it. I had a six-figure salary, I had annual bonuses, stock grants, all the things you could want, but I was absolutely miserable. And along those lines, I up until a year ago, my third marriage was circling the drain, and my health had declined. That's the big thing, as a result of years of unrelenting stress. I had gained 60 pounds and I'm only five feet tall, so every pound shows and has an impact. I'm also now 52 years old, so I was in perimenopause for five years before even realizing what was happening to me. I thought I was just going crazy. And I finally reached kind of a point where I realized I don't feel good and I don't know where to start because everything's a mess. But I started with the weight loss part because that's a piece I knew I needed help with. So I went and enrolled in a physician-supervised weight loss program. And I was very lucky to have a doctor that saw me as a whole person, not just someone who was carrying too much weight. So she sent me to all the specialists that mattered. And for me, that included a sleep specialist, a hormone specialist, a nutritionist, someone to guide me through movement as well. Really the whole picture. And it was really overwhelming at first. But the important thing that happened in her office is she looked at me and said, Jen, I just want you to know that with all this stuff stacked against you, you never stood a chance of doing this all by yourself. And I just, I felt so seen and heard by that. It made it easier to follow the rest of her advice, right? I trusted her at that point. And I just started tackling things one at a time, first with the nutritionist who was very kind and not judgmental and was really careful to make sure to walk me through things one step at a time. Let's just start with one thing. When you've made that change, in a couple weeks we'll do another thing. So it was really doable. As I started fixing things, I started to feel so much better. Like I felt doable. It felt like I could do the next thing, and that was real important. But the real turning point for me came in the cardiologist's office. The sleep specialist had alerted me to something strange going on with my heart, and the only way to find out what that is was to go to cardiology. And that's where the doctor just looked at me and said, um, years of unrelenting stress and poor nutrition have damaged your heart. And so we need to make some changes. And the first thing you need to do is look for all the sources of stress in your life and start eliminating them one by one as much as you can. And so I did all of this for six months and the weight started to fall off, which is fantastic. I lost 35 of the 60 pounds and I've kept it off. I started feeling a lot better, which is therapy, of course, real important. And the thing that I wasn't expecting is I was able to reconcile with my husband. So even my relationships, you know, were doing better. After six months, I walked back into the cardiologist's office completely confident he was gonna give me a clean bill of health. And he was was really impressed with the changes I had made, but he did say, But you know, your heart's still not responding the way that we really want to see it right now. So are there any other areas of your life that you can still relieve some stress? And the only thing left was my job. And so he just kind of looked me in the eye and said, Jen, I think it's time for you to consider whether your career is compatible with your health. Five days later, kind of a last straw moment happened at work, something that just made me realize not only is this killing me, but I don't want to do this anymore. And so I went home and talked to my family that weekend, and my husband actually looked at me and said, You know, you don't have to actually work. I know you've done that your whole life, but we're we're doing great. My business is doing great, so you don't have to go back. And that permission was huge. So um, a few days later, I gave my notice and I quit with no plan, shocked everybody, and then started building a business of my own. So that's my story.

SPEAKER_00 7:22

Oh man, I can only imagine the the thought process going through your head when he was like, Awesome, you've ticked off all these stressors, but it's still not enough. And like, what was your thought in that moment? Were you thinking, like, I've done so much, how can I make any more changes? Or were you like excited at the opportunity, like at the permission slip to leave your job? Like, what was your thought process when he said that?

SPEAKER_01 7:45

That's a great question. It didn't feel like permission at first. In fact, it stressed me out a little more to think I've done so much, and I and I see the proof of it, so I know it's working. Is there anything else I can do? And the only thing I thought was all there's left is my job. That's the only place I can think of. But I need to work, like I I need money, right? So what can I possibly do? So I just kind of tucked it in the back of my head and thought, okay, well, I'll think about that some more. But right as of right now, I don't know what to do until that last straw moment happened at the office. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

I like his prompt to you. It is time to see if your career is in alignment with your health. I think that's the language that he used. And I really like that prompt because I think there's a lot of things in our life that we sacrifice our health to make those things happen, whether it be our careers or our relationships or the you know, lifestyle that we want to live, whatever that may be. I think we sacrifice that in the name of health. Like we sacrifice our health for those things a lot of times. And whenever somebody points it out to you in that way, I bet that was kind of eye-opening for you.

SPEAKER_01 8:48

Oh, 100%. Yeah, it really made me consider. Like, I kind of always felt that. So it really made me think about he's probably right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

Yeah. I appreciate that both the doctor, the nutritionist, everybody that you saw was approaching it from a let's change one thing at a time perspective. Cause that's where we really get into that all or nothing mindset, and we have to make these changes overnight. That's the the problem area, is when we're like, okay, if I'm gonna lose the weight, I have to stop eating this and I have to stop eating that, and I have to stop eating this, and I need to start going to the gym five days a week. I need to start drinking 80 ounces of water. Like, we think we have to make all these changes by the time we wake up tomorrow, and that's so unrealistic. Do you think that the way that you approached it with the one thing at a time is the reason why it was so sustainable for you?

SPEAKER_01 9:37

100%. I was definitely that all or nothing mindset person. I was always go, go, go. I will do this perfectly. And because, you know, although I'd gained 60 pounds over the course of my adulthood, I've always known that I shouldn't be keeping this way and that I really should take it off. And I tried multiple times. I would lose as much as 15 or 20 pounds, and then it would all come back, and then some. Because of that all or nothing mindset, I thought, well, I've messed up, so now I have to start over again, and I'm too tired or exhausted to do that today. And so I wouldn't until something else happened that prompted me to realize that okay, making all the changes isn't working. So maybe it's time to just follow the advice of the specialist. I'm paying good money to help me, right?

SPEAKER_00 10:18

That's right. We put all this time and energy and money into learning this information just to ignore it. And and why do we do that to ourselves, right? Like, why are we putting ourselves in these positions to not put ourselves in the ultimate position by listening and doing these things? So I'm really happy to hear that you finally made that decision and started actually implementing these things and taking it slow, slow and steady won the race for you, it sounds like.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

Absolutely. Otherwise, I'd be starting from the fit the start line all over again. And nobody has the energy for that.

SPEAKER_00 10:51

No, and it's also not necessary. We just went out of town this past weekend. We went to Atlanta to visit with a friend for her birthday. And over the weekend, you know, I didn't do any of my normal healthy habits. I actually did wake up one morning and go for a walk. Other than that, I was eating whatever I wanted. I wasn't paying really any attention to the amount of protein that I was eating. I wasn't paying attention to making sure I had enough fiber. I wasn't being intentional about any of those things. And that doesn't mean that when I got back on Monday, I'm completely starting over. I'm just continuing. Like we just keep on going. It's all part of it. Life is going to happen. Just keep on going every single time. It sounds like that's the mindset you now have.

SPEAKER_01 11:33

It is a hundred percent. Yeah. It's like, okay, I can make one bad decision or allow myself to kind of let go of all the strictness that I've put in my life. But I don't need to make two bad decisions and then more and then more. You can always go right back to doing what you know works for you.

SPEAKER_00 11:49

Yeah. Well, don't let that one decision turn into a weekend or the rest of the week or the rest of the month or the rest of the year. That's so easy to say. Well, like I like I said, I had a cupcake and that turned in now I've already messed up the day, so might as well have something bad for dinner. We'll start over on Monday. It turns into the whole weekend of you eating everything under the sun. Then you step on the scale on Monday and you're like, Well, I'm right back to where I started. Yeah, you are, because you put yourself right back where you started. One cupcake's not gonna ruin it, just keep on going, right? So, anyways, that sounds like really amazing progress was made in your health and wellness journey. And now your name is somewhat synonymous with the word reinvention. That's what you really specialize in, and what you do for people is help them reinvent their life because you had this ultimate career, this ultimate life, and you realize this is not gonna get me where I really actually want to be in life. So you had to reinvent yourself. So kind of talk us through that process, Jen. What talk me through first, like what was going through your mind as you were releasing the old and like getting rid of who you thought you were gonna be forever to reinvent who you are now today.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

Yeah, uh I would say the first thing that was in my mind is very common with the women that I work with, which is who even am I anymore? Like, I've made so many changes that I'm different than I was before, but who also do I wanna be? Like, and it makes you question like pretty much everything in your life, which is not necessarily a bad thing. And I kind of went through a whole exercise with trying to figure out what my values are, and that was really transformative because that allowed me to make better decisions going forward, and so I kind of realized who is this person that I want to be, regardless of who I was in the past. That actually shouldn't matter anymore. Uh, who do I wanna be? What are her values? And then what changes do I need to make to become her? Was my thought process.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

Ooh, I love those. First, I actually really like that you approach it from like, who do I want to be? Because so many of us make the decision of who we're gonna be based on who everybody else either wants us to be or needs us to be. And you're like, I I I'm in charge of my own life. I get to be who I want to be. It's not about the money, it's not about the status, it's about what I what I want to do in my life. What how do I want to spend my days? I think that's really empowering to hear. Talk to me about how did you decide what values were important whenever it came to making this decision of who you were gonna be? Who do you want to be?

SPEAKER_01 14:25

Yeah, I actually went through a process recommended to me by a podcast I was listening to that I now take my own clients through. And it is first, let's look at all the values. You may not be aware of what you know all of the words are that signify values. And so I have a list of actually 300 words that are all potential values in your life. And what I usually, what I did and what I recommend is actually either print it out or put it on your tablet. Some something that'll allow you to start crossing out. So it's more of an elimination rather than an addition. And so you just kind of go through the list first pass. What are the values that definitely don't align with you that are not important to you? They they're all important to somebody, but not to you, right? And you just start crossing off and you go through it again, like several passes. And the goal is to get you to only four or five, six of the most values that are the most important to you. And as you're going through, if you don't understand what a word means, you can look it up. But I would also caution on that. It's more important what that word means to you than what the dictionary says it means. And so once you've narrowed it down to these are the four or five things that are most important to me. If I live these values, they will make me the happiest person that I, you know, I ever want to be. And this is what I'm going to align everything else to. It really helps cut down decision fatigue and the difficulty of making trying to make too many choices at one time when you know what those values are, and you print them out or make them your screensaver, put them on a note on your phone and refer back to them often. You can continue to ask yourself going forward, okay, is this next decision? Uh, what decision will align with these values and which will take me further away from them? And that kind of helps you make decisions going forward.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

So decisions such as like, should we move to this new place? Should I take this new job? Should I have a child or should I not? Big life decisions like that, but even small decisions, like give me examples of how you use this in your everyday life.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

Yes, that's a great question. It turns out for me, even the smallest decisions were important and they really helped you. If you know the answer to a question, you don't need to refer to a list of life values, but places where you might be confused, or what I find in women who are in midlife and in the process of a transition, they doubt themselves. They usually outsource their decisions to someone else and ask their spouse or their best friend or their coworker, what should I do? The values list allows you to just ask yourself. Very often you know the answer. And so for me, it was, what am I gonna have for breakfast this morning? Well, it turns out one of my top five values was health. And so when you know that and you have that in front of you someplace, you can realize, okay, what is going to fuel me and give me the nutrition I need for breakfast? That's how I'm gonna decide what to have for breakfast. And then making simple decisions about spending. If one of one of your values happens to be being frugal with money or living in abundance someday, then knowing that and being aware of that helps you decide how you're gonna spend your money. So it can be great big life changes like the one I made, but it can also be the small everyday choices that you make that your values will help you decide.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

I loved that example of what to eat in this situation. And I I kind of like to just like listen to my intuition. What when I sit back and I think, you know, what do I want to eat for breakfast this morning? Sure, I might want to eat sugary cereal, but do I really want that? Does that actually feel good for me? Sometimes that that might be a yes, but most of the time it's gonna be a that's not gonna make me feel very good long term. So I really like that example. What can I ask what your values are?

SPEAKER_01 18:02

I can list a few of them for you. Of course, one of them was health, but another one was peace, it turned out. I was so tired of conflict and stress that I wanted peace in my life, and I think that realization really helped with a reconciliation with my husband. I realized if he's going to be someone who can bring peace to my life, he can stay, or I'll stay with him. But if he's someone who's always going to be a conflict for me, he doesn't have a place in my life. And so that's an that was another big one. And then the the third one I'll share with you is balance. I want to have a life that's not like you said, all or nothing, all about one thing. But I want to have a nice balance in my life of personal goals, career goals, my family, my health. It should all be a balance, it shouldn't be extreme. So those are some examples for me.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

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SPEAKER_01 20:03

Yeah, um, piece by piece. Yeah, my husband and I both have ADHD. My daughters do too. And so when you realize that, you realize he's gonna be so overwhelmed if I hit him with all my values and like all this explanation, he's gonna tune out and we're not gonna have a conversation. So I only brought each of them up as they came up in in the course of our natural life. So when he actually asked me to sit down and have a last conversation before we signed those divorce papers and admitted to me, I don't actually want a divorce. I actually want to figure out how we can live together. That was a great time to bring up like, well, one of my values is peace. All my values are important to me. If you're someone who can bring me peace instead of conflict, we can continue the conversation. But if we can't, I'm afraid it'd be a waste of my time, was the way that I put it. And then other values have come up over the time, naturally in conversation as well.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

That is really the similar to the conversation you and I had on your podcast when we recorded of like take it piece by piece, just plant the seeds and then let them grow on their own. You can water it every once in a while, plant it and let it go. And that is a really beautiful way to watch somebody else flourish and change because they can start to reflect and be like, okay, what are my values? Do I value the same thing she does? Do we have some that align? How can we make this work in a relationship? And you didn't have to make him sit down and go through those 300 values, it just happened naturally because you were sharing your process. And I think that's a really good way to approach whenever you do want to make changes in your own life. I shared the example of making the changes in the health and wellness and just planting the seeds of I'm gonna go on an after dinner walk, here's why. Come if you want, or you don't have to. And planting that seed, now my husband is the one who asks for the walks. So I think what you did there is a really wonderful way of including him in that process without making him go through the process.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

You can't make anyone do anything right, you can only control your own actions. So that's an important realization that I came through only through therapy. So part of taking care of myself. If I could give a few more tips to your listeners about like deciding your values process, and then what do you do when you want you know what the values are? What I would suggest is doing kind of a life audit against those values. You can start with things as simple as your calendar. Does your where you're spending your time align with what's important to you? Mine certainly did not. Like spending so much time working at a job that I I hated was not making me happy, was not bringing me peace, kind of made me realize I need to make some changes on how I spend my time. You can audit your bank statements. You know, does your how you spend your money align with your values and then move on to your diet, your other areas of your life? That's kind of a good process, a starting point for you.

SPEAKER_00 22:50

Yeah, I think that's a really valuable way to do it. The time, the time, the way that you spend your time, I think is a big win because so many of us are spending so much time online on social media, sitting on the couch, scrolling, watching Netflix, doing whatever's soaking up somebody else's life. And does that align with what you like want your life to be like? So for some people, sure. Like you might value the laying around and just like the real relaxation of that. Other people that might not align with you, and I think our intuition tells us so much of that, right? Like my intuition can it it screams at me, girl, get off the couch, stop scrolling, and sometimes I ignore that, and then I just feel bad about myself. So I think our intuition really guides us in understanding what our values are. Absolutely, yeah. So, Jen, I want to continue the conversation for just one more question. How does understanding our values help to eliminate that feeling of burnout that so many of us get? Because I think it's really easy and professionally, you got burnt out. That's what led to so much of this. But then also, like, we can get we get burnt out in our health and wellness journey too. We're spinning our wheels for so long by not doing the things that people have told us to do. We know what to do, we're just not doing it. Situation that leads to that burnout feeling of God, I can't keep doing this forever. So, how does knowing our values help to avoid that feeling of burnout?

SPEAKER_01 24:18

That's a great question. I think it's important to understand that burnout is not just having too much in your life, it's having too much of what doesn't align with those values. That misalignment drains your energy and your effort really fast. When your life does match your values, your energy um earns a return on your investment instead of just leaking out all over the place. It also gives you permission to start saying no because every time you say no to something that's misaligned, it's a yes to what matters instead, is the great way to think about it. It's kind of the bridge into setting boundaries, which is something we can talk more about if you want. My own burnout came from pouring 30 years into a career that ended up not actually matching what I actually actually valued.

SPEAKER_00 25:00

Yeah, that is the where I want to take our conversation next is those boundaries. You talk a lot about setting boundaries and how to do that. So I want to give you some scenarios of some situations where we need to have these conversations about boundaries, and you can guide us through, give us some things that we could say or things that we shouldn't say, things like that. But first, like, do you have any overall tips of how to approach these tough conversations? What should my demeanor be like? What should I, what should I like? Is there anything like major do's and don'ts to get us started? And then we can get into some specific examples.

SPEAKER_01 25:37

Yeah, I would start with your mindset, which is where I always start with everything, and that's to understand that we are taught, especially as women, that our worth is tied to being needed, being agreeable, being low maintenance. And it's also tied to things like guilt, fear of conflict, uh being labeled as selfish. And many of us end up not believing that we're worth setting the boundary in the first place. And then with your health specifically, a boundary can feel like a judgment, either of you or the people around you. And when you come at the conversation in a judgmental sort of way, that sets off defensiveness. And so that will close down the conversation rather than leaving it open. So understand where it's coming from and what contributes to it, but also understand that your approach and your tone of voice are gonna be very important to whether that conversation is received or not.

SPEAKER_00 26:27

Yeah, it's like get yourself right and then approach the conversation, you know, like make sure that you're at a pe at a place of peace, you're level-headed, you're calm. We don't want to come into these tough conversations when we're feeling angry or anxious or any sort of like negative emotion. Get yourself calm and centered first and then come at this, even if it means that it needs to be at a different day, it needs to be at a different time. Get yourself right and then get into the conversation. So talk to me first about food pushers. I talk a lot about food pushers, especially around the holidays, because there's always those people at work or at the family get together or whatever that are saying, oh, come on, Jen, just have a donut, just eat this. You are you really gonna make us eat without you? It's just one donut, eat it. So talk to me about those food pushers. How do we have conversations with them to say, I don't want to eat this food. Stop making me feel like I need to eat this, stop making me feel guilty about my choices without saying it in a rude way.

SPEAKER_01 27:31

That's a really tough situation, isn't it? Because often these are people that we need to preserve a relationship with. You rarely get that kind of unsolicited advice from a stranger. So I would start with, that does look delicious, but I'm good for now, you know, really casual. And stop explaining. You don't owe them a further explanation. But if they push you further, you can say things like, I'm really taking care of something, you know, for my health right now. And you would really help me by not asking me again. Like put it, put it on them. Just it's important to stay calm, repeat if you have to. You don't have to justify, and you don't have to negotiate in that situation.

SPEAKER_00 28:05

Yeah. And I think like you can approach it so casually. Like, I like what you said of like, I'm taking care of my health right now. Please stop asking me, and just be like, girl, you know that I'm on a health journey. Please stop trying to push that on me. I don't want that right now. Please stop asking me. Like, you can say it in like a funny, like bancer type way, but still get the point across of like you know, I don't want that. Stop trying to push me and and take it, push it, put it back on them. Like, you're the problem. I'm not the problem because I don't want to eat this. You are the problem. I'm gonna make that clear, but I'm gonna say it in like a joking way. So, like you said, we can keep the peace in our relationship. So I love that answer. The next one, let's talk about a spouse. Talk to me about spouses or children or whoever, like people that live in your home, if they aren't supporting your journey, they are making comments, snide comments of like, oh, mom is making mom's eating this, or you know, like snide comments about you or whatever. How do we approach those conversations and handle that?

SPEAKER_01 29:03

I'm actually in this situation right now. I have a husband and a 15-year-old daughter who not only are not interested in health, if I mentioned that something's healthy, they were actively like rejected. So I will usually say things like, okay, I'm not asking you to change how you eat. I'm asking you to just not make this harder for me and to be in my corner, like support me. And then one concrete request, like for the example, don't keep my my trigger food on the counter or take a walk with me, you know, once or twice a week. That partnership should be a specific ask, like not a complaint. If you frame it as a complaint, that's where they'll get really defensive.

SPEAKER_00 29:41

Yeah, I like to say, okay, I know that you love your Chips Ahoy cookies. You know I love them too, but right now I'm trying to be healthy. Can we put the Chips Ahoy cookies like on the top shelf of the pantry so you can still get to them, but they're not in my direct line of sight? Like, make it to where, like you said, I'm not asking you to change anything. I just want you to make it easier for me to change. That's all I'm asking. If you care about me the way you say you care about me, you'll be fine allowing me to make these changes, even if you don't want to. So good answers there. What about like negative coworkers or or any any person that you're surrounded by who's like negative all the time, like that typical negative Nelly, always something negative to say, a pessimist through and through? That energy drains you. Like, I'm I I've been surrounded by those people for a long time where it's just like constant negativity, and you want to scream at them and be like, Please stop. So, how do you approach that without screaming at them?

SPEAKER_01 30:37

Yeah, that's a good example because not um all of your boundaries need to be about food. In this case, you do want to protect your energy, but you don't want to be unkind. So I would say things like, Hey, I've only got a couple of minutes, or redirect them and say, I'm trying to keep my head in a good place today. I need to focus. So I'm gonna stay out of that conversation. You don't have to attend every venting session that you're invited to, is what I would say.

SPEAKER_00 30:59

Oh, yeah, I like that. Just because they're hopping on that venting bandwagon doesn't mean you have to hop on too, just walk in, stay in your own lane. For me, this is the hardest one because that when I'm have all that negativity, I want to escape it and I like to escape through food. I'm I'm really that person. That's why I have struggled for so many years in the way that I did was because of that food is my escape. Like that is the my my thing. Whenever I it's not alcohol, it's not drugs, it's not anything else. I want food. And so when I'm surrounded by these negative people, their mood is bringing me down so much. That's what I want to turn to. So I find this one to be one of the most challenging ones, and I like your examples that you shared there of you know, that that's so valid. Let's change the topic, let's talk about something else. This is that's something that I think I need to practice when I'm surrounded by certain overly negative people. Now, the last one that I want to talk about is the voice in our own head, because that one is it's with us everywhere. I can't, I can't just say, let's let's you know talk about something else, let's go somewhere else. That voice is with me all the time when I'm falling asleep at night, first thing in the morning, when I'm going to the bathroom, always with me. So if we have a voice in our head that, you know, puts everyone else's needs above our own, says, I don't have time to go to the grocery store today, I've got to go do this. I don't have time to go to the gym, I've got to do this. How do we talk to ourselves to make us understand we need to start putting our own needs above that of other people at times, and that's okay to do?

SPEAKER_01 32:35

I would start by saying it's also okay to get help of a therapist or a coach like you and me, someone who can help you see it from another perspective so that you're not doubting yourself. But when you're thinking about it in your own head, I would name it as a habit, but not necessarily the truth, so you can counter it and say, you know what, I'm allowed to be on my own list of things to do. And the reframe is like caring for yourself is not taking from someone else. A depleted woman has less to give, you can't pour from an empty cup, things like that. But when the guilt hits you, just ask yourself, would I demand this of a friend? And a line to kind of keep in your head, my needs are not a problem to manage. In fact, they're they should be a priority, right? So there are different reframes that you can take that don't allow that negative thought to be the truth. You can still kind of counter it in your head.

SPEAKER_00 33:25

Yeah, not allowing the negative thought to be the truth. I think we um immediately think, like whatever my first thought is, that's the truth. I'm not valuable enough, I'm not worthy of this, I'm not this, I'm not that, or I am this, I am that. And uh it's like those we've been trained to have those thoughts. That doesn't mean those things are the truth. So I really enjoy that reframe, and I think this is the one that a lot of us need to spend the most time on is working like in our our own mindset, in my own head, the voice that follows me around all the time. That's the one I need to prioritize. So thank you so much for sharing everything that you did today, Jen. I do have one final question that's more about the reinvention that you had talked about at the beginning of this, and again, is like you, you, you are the queen of helping people reinvent their life and make it something that they want to. What is it like a the process that you help people follow when it comes to this reinvention? How do they you take them from I'm burnt out at work, I'm unhappy in my career, I'm unhappy in my relationships, like my life is not what I want it to be to reinventing and becoming what they actually want want their life to be. How what's the process?

SPEAKER_01 34:36

The process kind of depends on what the problem is or where the situation is. I have a few different programs that I might take someone through depending on what their priorities are, but high level, some things that run through kind of all of the coaching that I do is to first kind of stop and name it, like name what the issue is, stop trying to white knuckle through it and admit that there is something that needs to be changed. What is it? And then, as we talked about, getting clear on your values, that would be the next thing, and then audit the gap between what your current life looks like and that list of values, see where the misalignments are. But an important part of the whole process is rebuilding your self-trust. Stop outsourcing every decision that you make to other people, learn to trust yourself, and that comes through making the right decisions and then celebrating the victories of that, keeping a list of wins and just kind of this is my proof that I can trust myself. Align just one area at a time, like like you said, taking small sequential steps and not try to burn it all down, which is kind of what I did, so I don't recommend it. And then probably the last, but maybe the most important thing is get support, whether that looks like a therapist, a coach, a community of other people, you know, like-minded people or women around you, you don't need to see kind of the whole path ahead of you, the whole map, the whole plan. Just kind of take what the next step is, and that you'll start to see results and get motivated from there.

SPEAKER_00 36:02

Yeah, and you mentioned it at one point earlier of pausing and asking yourself, is this decision going to be in alignment with the goal, with the life that I want to live, with my values that I've outlined, right? Like, is this the decision that I want to make and make those decisions accordingly? I share that a lot in my own coaching when it comes to food. If because so many of the women that I work with are struggling with the food noise and the sugar cravings, and we want to give in to that so badly in the moment, and then we do, and then we're like, that was so not what I said I was gonna do. I'm mad at myself immediately for eating that cookie. And so it's about pausing in advance and asking yourself in advance, if I make this decision, if I allow that person to speak to me that way, if I allow myself to eat that food, if I allow this to continue to persist in my life, is that in alignment with my goals? Pause, determine the answer, and then make the decision accordingly, which is the hardest part, in my opinion, is making decision accordingly and moving forward in the way that is in alignment with your values. But when you start to do those things, man, doesn't it start to feel good so quick?

SPEAKER_01 37:11

It does. You get really quick proof that what you're doing is working just from how you feel.

SPEAKER_00 37:15

Yeah, yeah. Jen, where could people learn more from you? Where are you active on social media and your website and like all the things? Where can they find you?

SPEAKER_01 37:24

I am active on all the social media. My handle is It's Genfast on on pretty much everything YouTube, Instagram, threads, what have you. And then my main website is reinvention with genfast.com, and there lives all the ways to contact me and all my programs, including my nutrition foundations program. I even have a free ebook that your listeners are welcome to come download. It's a 60 high protein snack ideas. And in addition to that, I've got three collections of healthy recipes that I've tried on myself and my family, so I know that they're good. And then, of course, there's my podcast, The Comeback Show, in which you'll see Laura very soon. So I hope that you'll all come and subscribe and watch it.

SPEAKER_00 38:04

Amazing. I'll have all of that down in the show notes so you guys don't have to go searching up anything. Just go down, scroll for a second, click on all of the things that you need to get in contact with Jennifer. I recommend that you guys, after listening to this, go find her on Instagram and send her a message with what one of your biggest takeaways was because that always feels good to receive that message of somebody saying, Hey, I listened to the show that you were on and I took this away. And so I recommend that all of you go do that. Make Jen feel really good and also support her, support the podcast. Thank you so much for being here, Jen. And I can't wait to continue to keep in contact with you through social media and uh listen to my episode on your podcast when it comes out.

SPEAKER_01 38:48

Absolutely. Thanks so much for having me. It's been a pleasure.

SPEAKER_00 38:51

Thank you so much. I can't wait to see you again next week. And always remember the more you know, the more you grow.