Hack Your Motivation + Stop Self Sabotage & Boredom Eating with Heidy Caminero

If you’ve ever thought…
"Why do I keep doing this when I know what to do?”
 or
“Why can’t I just stay consistent with healthy habits?”

This episode is going to connect so many dots for you.

Because the truth is: it’s not a lack of willpower.
It’s the way your brain has been wired.

In today’s episode, I’m joined by Master Mindset Coach Heidy Caminero, and we’re diving into how neuroplasticity (your brain’s ability to rewire itself) plays a huge role in your cravings, food noise, self-sabotage, and motivation.

If you’ve been stuck in cycles of:

• Starting over every Monday
• Eating out of boredom or emotion
• Feeling like you “lose control” around food
• Struggling to stay consistent with healthy habits

This conversation will help you understand why it’s happening, and more importantly, how to change it.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• What neuroplasticity is and how it impacts your eating habits
• Why you’re not “broken” when it comes to cravings and food noise
• How your brain gets wired into patterns of overeating and self-sabotage
• The real reason you struggle with motivation (and how to hack it)
• How limiting beliefs keep you stuck in unhealthy patterns
• Why dieting and restriction can actually make food obsession worse
• How to stop boredom eating without relying on willpower
• The role of identity and self-talk in long-term behavior change
• A simple, practical mindset shift you can start using today

We Also Talk About…

• How your thoughts directly influence your actions, habits, and outcomes
• The connection between your brain, behaviors, and physical results
• What’s actually happening when you feel out of control around food
  
  

A Big Takeaway: 

If you’ve been blaming yourself for lack of discipline…
This episode will show you that your brain has simply been trained a certain way (and it can be retrained!!).

— 

Connect with Heidy Caminero

Instagram: @heidy.caminero

Website: Heidy | Master Mindset Coach, Breathwork, Hypnosis & EFT Practitioner for Women in their 30s and 40s

Wealth Embodiment Bundle: (GET IT FREE by using the code LAURA!) Wealth Embodiment Bundle 

—

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Use the code LAURA10 for 10% off your order.

Visit 7th Creations here: Discover the Benefits of All Natural Beef Tallow Skincare Products

—

💌 Connect With Laura:

1. Website: Health Coach for Teachers & Busy, Working Women
2. Instagram: LAURA B. | Teacher turned Health Coach | Podcaster🎙️ (@laura.b.healthy) • Instagram photos and videos
3. TikTok: Laura B. | Health Coach (@laura.b.healthy) | TikTok

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Isn't You Powerful Podcast. I am so excited to have you here with me today because I have a special guest episode for you. This episode is with Heidi Camnero. She is a master mindset coach, and this episode is chock full of why you have certain behaviors and habits that just won't seem to go away. So the self-sabotage, the boredom eating, those are big pieces of what we're gonna talk about in this episode. She's gonna give us tips on how to hack our motivation to better understand how to get rid of these habits that we currently have and do not want to have. Heidi is digging into all of it for us. It's science-based, it's practical, it's tangible things you can walk away and start to implement. And I just cannot wait for you to get into this and start to learn from her and learn from this conversation. Hopefully, some light bulbs go off for you as you hear this conversation. I really quickly wanted to give a shout out to some of the cities that listen to the podcast the most. I recently was digging through some of the stats of the podcast and I found that there's some cities that I've never even heard of that are listening to the podcast. Like the fact that Benton, Arkansas is the most listened to place for the Isn't She Powerful podcast is so interesting to me because I've never even been in the state of Arkansas. So hello to Benton, Arkansas, Jacksonville, Florida girls. That's where I live, and they're that's my second most listened to city. Charlotte, North Carolina, right where I went to college at. Ashburn, Virginia, Atlanta, Georgia, Chicago, Illinois. Those are my top cities where people listen to the podcast. So if you're in one of those places, hello. Thanks for tuning in every single week. And to anybody in those cities or otherwise, don't forget that you can always send me a message. You can go down into the show notes, the very first thing says send us a text. You can send me a text completely anonymously, and I will create an episode that's specifically designed for you in mind based on whatever it is you share with me, a question, a situation, whatever it may be. Now, with all of that being said, let's get into this episode with Heidi. Welcome to the Isn't You Powerful Podcast. I'm your host, Laura B, health coach, educator, and founder of the Bee Healthy Lifestyle. I'm here to bring you all of the health education and motivation so that you can sign off each week feeling equipped and empowered to tackle all of your health goals. Come along with me as I teach you the basics of life. Isn't she powerful? Hello, Heidi, and welcome to the Isn't She Powerful Podcast. I'm so excited to have you. Thank you for having me. I just want to let everybody know this is our second time recording this episode. You would have gotten so much good stuff from the first one, but technology was not our friend, and that's okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:05

Yeah, and but we figured it out and take two, so even better things have to come out. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

And there's a reason why the first one didn't work for us.

SPEAKER_00 3:13

Yes. Yes, yes. God will come through and say even more amazing things for us.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

I always say, like whenever I'm like gonna go to speak at an event or something like that, I always say, God speak through me. Whatever you need these people to hear, that's what needs to come through. So yeah, God's gonna come through every now.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

Maybe the first time he realized he didn't say everything.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

So darn it, we forgot something.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

We forgot something. So here we go.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

Take two. We're good. Okay. Well, Heidi, I'm so excited to have you on the podcast. I have personally been learning from you and listening to your podcast, and there's so much good things that I'm really excited for you to get to share with my community and the women who listen to my podcast. And I really want to highlight what it is that you work on and what you how you help people, specifically your mindset and manifestation and money coach, which is really beautiful and so exciting. And today we're gonna use what you focus on in the lens of food and relationships to food and all of those beautiful things.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

Absolutely. I can talk about this all day mindset stuff. So I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_01 4:18

Yeah. So I want to start off with a little bit of the science. I personally am somebody who wants to know, well, why is this going on? What's happening in my brain? Like, I want to understand how it works, what you do, how does it work? So I want to throw the term neuroplasticity out there. For anybody who hasn't heard of that term, doesn't know what that means. Can you just break down what that term is? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

Neuroplasticity is our mind's amazing mechanism of being able to create new ways of being, thinking, behaving, all of the above. So the fact that our brain can adapt itself to be able to accommodate new habits, thoughts, and behaviors. So the old saying that people say you can't teach an old dog new tricks does not apply. In this context, that is not true. You can absolutely learn new ways of being, behaving, acting, and it's because of neuroplasticity. And if you could picture for a moment highways in the streets, our brain is full of highways, and every highway represents a behavior, a thought, a habit that you have reinforced over time over many, many years and decades, and it's there, and that's why sometimes habits feel effortless to you and you can do them without thinking. It's because that highway has been reinforced for so many years. Neuroplasticity allows us to create a new highway whenever we desire that matches or aligns to the goals that we want to go after. So if we want to learn a new habit and a new behavior, our brain has the ability to create a new highway and take that as the new direction. So that's what neuroplasticity is that we can change who we are, how we behave at any point.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

Yeah, it essentially is the idea, and you correct me if I'm wrong, but essentially the idea that we can develop new habits and ways of believing and acting anytime we want to.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

Anytime, and our brain will support it, our brain will allow us to behave in that way. So there really isn't anything stopping us.

SPEAKER_01 6:17

Yeah, except for our unlimiting beliefs and all those things. We'll talk about more in this episode. But I do like to think about the idea of neuroplasticity as I like to think of it as like pathways through the forest. And anybody who's worked with me in seismic shift or any of my one-on-one programs, they would know that analogy where I always talk about how when you're it's like a pathway that's completely cleared out, and there's no, there's no branches falling down, there's no weeds everywhere, there's nothing like stopping you. It's an easy path to go through. But then when you want to start a new habit, it's like you turn and you're going through the forest, and there are things in the path that are going to get in your way. It's more challenging. You're going over roots, you're there's spider webs everywhere, there might be a snake that you pass. Like it's going to be challenging to start this new habit, this new way of believing and acting and thinking. And so, talk to me a little bit about when we are starting this new pathway through the forest, this new highway, we're building a new path, we're building a new highway, and there's construction, you know. How do we keep going? Whenever it feels like we're running into obstacle after obstacle, it's challenge after challenge, and it feels so hard. How do we keep going?

SPEAKER_00 7:30

Yeah, absolutely. The first place where I help my clients work is on their identity. You first have to see yourself as that future version of you who already easily has these habits and behaviors. Often we think that we need to focus solely on the habits, and if we change our habits only, then everything else changes and we see ourselves differently. It's actually a different direction. What governs most of how we succeed in life is how we see ourselves. So if you can pivot and change your self-image to seeing yourself as someone who health comes easily to them, habits become easily to adopt, then you become someone who can easily attain all of the resources and tools to be able to clear out that pathway. And eventually with enough clearing, that pathway becomes clean and clear and it becomes easy to walk back and forth through that pathway. But starting with your identity, seeing yourself as a very different person will really have a trickle-down effect.

SPEAKER_01 8:28

Yeah, you mentioned it earlier today when you and I were talking before we even got started recording about the phrase I am. I am anything that follows that, that's what you are. You are what you say you are. You know, if I say I'm fat, if I say I'm unhealthy, if I say I'm this or that, then that's what I am. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. But if you speak life and happiness and truth and joy, then man, that creates a totally different outcome.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

It's a very different energy, too. If you think about when you say, I am the type of person who creates habits easily and effortlessly, that has a very different type of energy than someone who says, Oh, I'm just really lazy, things don't work out for me. That also carries a very down energy, if you will. And energy is everything and it fills your intention. So really thinking about what are you saying after I am is really going to make a big difference because the subconscious takes everything literal. So if you say I am followed by anything that is really not serving your goals, your mind is going to your subconscious is going to take that literal and because it wants to serve you and prove you right in every instance, it's going to say, Let me show this girl or man evidence that they are correct.

SPEAKER_01 9:46

So yeah, that's the thing. Like I I know that you've talked about it and I I listened to your podcast and all the things, but like our brains just want to keep us safe. Yeah. You know, they just want to well, they want us to be correct because being correct feels good. And even if we are being correct about something that sucks, something we don't want to be our truth, if we're if that's what we're saying, then our brain wants that to be true for us. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 10:09

And isn't that beautiful that our brain is always working to serve us? Yeah. And if we learn how to use our minds in a way that aligns with our goals, it's we've hacked the system in a way. We have the user's manual to our mind. And when we have that user manual, think about the last gadget you bought that has a user manual. How much easier is it to use that gadget? Same goes with our brain. When you understand how your mind is perceiving the world around you, your health, your self-image, you can more easily change the way that you think, but it starts with self-awareness too. You have to obviously want to become aware of these things within yourself too.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

Yeah. Yeah, there's an activity that I like to do with my clients, and I call it fast F-A-S-T. Feelings, actions, sayings, and thoughts. Identify the feelings, actions, sayings, and thoughts of the version of you who you are hoping to become. The version of you, the the the person, like if you were just to wake up tomorrow and you had everything you wanted, you had the health that you wanted, the house that you wanted, the family that you wanted, every piece of it. Okay, what does she feel? Does she feel like she's fat? Does she feel the and she speaks mean to herself and she's always picking at her fat and holding her chubby tummy? And like, well, how does she feel? What are her actions? What are her sayings and thoughts? Or is she doing things that are supportive of her, right? Like things that make her feel really good and really powerful, and she's getting in the kitchen and she's doing her meal planning and prepping, she's you know, eating healthy, well-balanced meals, she's doing all of these things. Which one is she? You know what I mean? And by knowing that you're able to take more line action daily. That and I think that that's a a big piece of it, is like we I think for me, this is a habit that I fall into of like, oh, if I just believe that it's possible, then I'll I'll be it. But we also there is action that has added on.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

Yes, you're absolutely right.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

Like it still takes intention, it still takes us showing up every single day, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:07

Making the choice to do all of these things, and through having the proper mindset and making the choices to actually do the actions that are aligned with that mindset, that's whenever the reality becomes exactly, and and taking the action then becomes more easy, it becomes almost effortless at one point, even though there is effort to take with certain actions like meal planning, meal prepping, that takes effort, and it might not be everyone's favorite part because I think my favorite part is the eating. I just want the food to be done and healthy and beautiful, but I know what you're saying is absolutely accurate when you see yourself in that way. You also have to take the action, but the actions start to feel easier because you see the results from it. You are acting with a better energy and better intention behind it. Uh but again, it's not to say that it's you know always pleasant to take the action, but when you realize, oh, I'm taking this action because it's aligned with the version of me, with the feelings, actions, sayings, and thoughts, then you just say, I don't know, it just feels you in a very different way. That meal prep just feels a lot better because you remind yourself while you're chopping up all your veggies, I I'm acting. I I I'm doing what I said I was gonna do. I'm committing. Look at me. It's like you you stack evidence towards the goals that you have and towards the version of you that you're becoming.

SPEAKER_01 13:26

Yeah, a hundred percent. I think that's where we end up getting into a little bit of a struggle bus with our health and wellness, is we have over time started all of these diets and then given up on ourselves, and then we started another diet, and then we gave up on ourselves, and now we have so much evidence proving that it's not possible for us. We're not capable of living a healthy lifestyle, we're never gonna lose the weight. And we also have generational evidence. Well, this is what my mom lived like, this is what my mother grandmother lived like. It's been this way in my family for years, this is how it's always gonna be. So, whenever somebody does feel like they have all this evidence stacking up against them, proof that it's not possible for them, proof that they're not capable of living a healthy lifestyle or whatever, how do we begin to mitigate some of that evidence that's built up over time?

SPEAKER_00 14:13

That's such a great question. I believe it's first deciding that you want to see something different and that you're willing to be proven in a different direction. So the willingness of wanting to see the something different creates a very different energy, how we've been talking about. And when you have had so much evidence in the direction of an unfavorable result and outcome, can you pause and ask yourself, Well, am I willing to be proven correct that I can see a more favorable result? So that intention behind wanting to see it differently will begin to create a series of events that unfold to help prove you correct. Because if we're remembering our subconscious mind just wants to prove us correct, then can we set an intention and say, I'm willing to see this differently? I'm willing to see that I can be the cycle breaker in my family and have a better health and live longer and not have a chronic disease and not have the high cholesterol that runs in my family in particular. Can I make that decision and say I'm willing to see that differently? And before you know it, the right holistic doctor will get put in your path, the right blog post will come in and give you some insight that you had never seen before and could be so pivotal for your journey. So wanting to see things differently makes a really big difference as well. And how we were saying, you taking the action towards that too, and say, okay, I'm taking this action with the intention of seeing a very different result because I'm doing it in a very different way than I have done it in the past.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

Yeah, and I think I've heard you say it before too of the simple fact that you want it is proof that it's possible for you. Yeah, talk a little bit to like that idea because I think a lot of people we see it as, well, I see her, she's so skinny, and it comes across as like jealousy in a way, of like, oh my goodness, like I wish I looked like that. She can eat whatever she wants and and still look like that, and it's it's a a bitterness in a way. So talk a little bit about how that impacts it and how we can maybe I guess use that jealousy to fuel less.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

Yeah, absolutely. And I I have an episode on that on Reframing Jealousy that I posted some time ago, and I invite listeners to view jealousy as an activator, something activating within you that you saw something that you didn't realize you wanted, and now you feel activated to attain those same results. And also the very fact that you are noticing these qualities within people means that you have those qualities within yourself because otherwise you would be blind to them, you would never notice them. The fact that you're seeing and noticing someone leading a very healthy life and carrying themselves a very particular way, and you almost look at it with slight admiration, even though you might be labeling it as jealousy, that says that you have that within you, but some part of you is repressing that, some part of you doesn't feel safe to allow that part of you to shine in that way. Why could that be? That's where self-exploration comes in. What did I learn about people like that growing up? What kind of conversations did I hear in my family and my circle around people like that? Because our minds also want to protect us from being ostracized and being outcasted from the family, from our group, from our community. So if any part of you perceives you being that super healthy person with incredible habits that are aligned to your goals, but some of that feels unsafe, like it's going to cause you your safety of being in community, then it will block you from the very thing that you truly want. But overall, what I want people to take away from everything I just said is the fact that you see it in someone means you are fully capable of having it. And the next step is to ask, what must that person believe about themselves for them to have that lifestyle, feel normal and effortless? What habits must they have in place? What must they believe about the world, about the people around them, and start to dissect and analyze? And what we call that in coaching, in neurolinguistic programming, which is the language of the mind, we call that modeling. We use the life of other people that we are looking up to and that we want to emulate to some degree, because we don't always want every single aspect of someone else's life, just some, but we start to model, we see their life as a model of what is possible, a framework, and now we dissect it and we say, Well, what's working for them? And then we apply it in our life, that's what makes it easier.

SPEAKER_01 18:47

Yeah, I I feel like there's a fine line there between oh, I see this in somebody else's life, and it again feels like jealousy and bitterness, and well, why do they have that and I can't have that, and like using that as a tool is evidence that it can be mine as well. Right. I feel like there is a fine line and it comes back to your mindset, your intentions, the attitude that you go into it with. Because it's really easy for us to fall into negative thought patterns. You know, like I've I feel like I for sure used to be a really negative person. It was really hard for me to see the positive in pretty much anything. It was just so easy to go to the negative. And then once I started noticing that about myself, it's like I don't want to be a person who always looks at the bad things, you know. So I started looking for the positives, and man, now I'm like, there's there's beauty in everything, there's positive in everything. Yes, but it took some self-awareness, would you say? Yeah. It started with being aware of your time. It took it took intention, it took me actually like taking the time to show up for it. And and it wasn't just like, oh, I decided, you know, like going back to the pathways thing in the forest or or the highways. It wasn't just, well, I decided I'm gonna look at things differently, and now I've had this new pathway, and that's the path I'm gonna follow. No, you have to choose to follow that path all the time. Like, I have to choose. When I decided I was gonna be a healthy person, I had to choose to go to the gym every day. I had to choose to eat my healthy meals instead of going through the fast food drive-thru. Like you it takes action too, it takes intentional actions.

SPEAKER_00 20:19

Yes, and repetition for sure. Repetition. Repetition, which is exactly what it sounds like, what you've been doing, and that the mind loves repetition in order to install a new habit. The more you do it and back to your pathways analogy, that's how it gets reinforced. That repetition of clearing out, clearing out, taking out the webs every day. One more action is a vote towards your goal, you're clearing out more, clearing out more.

SPEAKER_01 20:44

So, yeah, it sounds like that's the pathway that your brain follows naturally. But you have to get it, you have to train it to do that. Exactly, absolutely. Yeah. So if we were to take that back to that this conversation that we're currently having, take it back to food and cravings, dieting, everything that that the listeners of the show are struggling with and come to this to hear about. Let's transition the conversation there for a minute and talk a little bit about the cycle of dieting that women have been in for so long. Like they've been, you know, they start 21-day fix or keto or whatever the new next diet is that they decide needs to be done. And then they they fail, they give up on themselves, they give into the cravings, they give into the belief that it is impossible for them, and they give up on themselves. Talk a little bit about like, okay, how do we start to actually become somebody who sticks with this and is consistent with this diet lifestyle that we're trying to create, or this healthy lifestyle, not diet lifestyle. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

I love how you put that. And there's a little bit of the answer in your question is beginning to see ourselves as a type of person who sees dieting as something that just bounces off of them. Meaning, if I am a healthy person. Who values longevity, who values being at an optimal health and feeling great and every day feeling energized? I do not engage in a fad diet in a quick fix 12-week program. Now that's not to say that there are seasons in life in which you want to accomplish a very specific goal for your health. Maybe you're looking to reduce your body fat. That that's okay. And increase muscle, that's fantastic. I think that's okay and is a great standard to have. What I'm talking about is the type of person who lives and breathes health and wellness all lifelong, they don't have space for a quick fix because they don't need it. They don't need the quick fix because they already feel amazing. So all that to say is how do you see yourself and why do you believe that going to a 12-week or eight-week diet is going to resolve everything for you in one quick fix? What is it really that you're trying to address? And when we take a step back and we look at how we see ourselves and an even bigger step back, what is the life vision that you have for yourself and where does health fall in your grand life vision? So if you have 50 more years of life left, what do those 50 years look like for you? How do you want to be walking through your day? How do you want to be feeling? Are you then engaging in short cycle, short win type of programs? Or are you the type of person who invests in long-term health and wellness and this is just who you are? So that's what I would say is first really think about how do you see yourself and take an even bigger step back. If you had another 50, 60 more years of life left, what is your big grand vision and what does health look like for you? And that will begin to inform a lot of the choices that you make from here on out. And you'll see that perhaps the past choices that you made were not in favor of you living a long and healthy life. You were going for short bursts of dopamine hits, but you can always choose again. Today is always a good day to choose to make a new life vision.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

Yeah, totally. I I like how you're putting all this, and it reminds me of a conversation my dad had with me, I don't know, a hundred times growing up. He would always say, It's a lifestyle change. We have to, we have to change our lifestyle. We have to get rid of all of the bread, we have to never drink soda again, we can't have dessert. Like it was like so all or nothing. And that's what he considered a lifestyle change. And I'm not saying that it isn't a lifestyle change. I do think it is a lifestyle change, but your lifestyle doesn't change overnight. Exactly. And that was what he was trying to do. And I think this that's what diet culture tells us we should be doing is like, okay, well, we're just gonna cut it out for 75 days, 75 days hard. Let's cut it all out, and then we'll go right back to it.

SPEAKER_00 24:52

Right. You know, there's never I love what you're saying because there's never that conversation of what happens after. Yeah, what's what the diet's done, so but what what do you do after? And maybe that is with what is continuing to feed this feeling that maybe you didn't do well, or maybe you did do well, but then you fell back to the old ways of being because you didn't have anything beyond that to carry forward the vision.

SPEAKER_01 25:18

Yeah, and that's why like so much of the work that I do is all about building habits that are going to last. I always say, you join my program, it's not a diet. There's nothing restrictive about it. I'm never going to make you take something out of your diet or like you know, show up in a way that, yeah, it's gonna feel uncomfortable sometimes. Or you're gonna have to get up off the couch and go for a walk whenever you want to just lay around sometimes. Like that is that is the case. Sometimes you're gonna have to make some sacrifices, but it's not restrictive and super strict rules or anything like that. It's building habits that are going to sustain you for a lifetime. Yes, it just becomes your new standard of living. Talk a little bit about the video that you saw. I really want you to touch on that because I feel like it I want it to paint a mental picture for the people who are listening to this.

SPEAKER_00 26:06

Yeah, so the the moment in time that I can recall that really changed how I saw my mobility and strength training and enabled me to take it more serious and make it a non-negotiable in my life was scrolling, mindlessly scrolling, but thank goodness on this day something good came about it. Is I saw a footage of like an illustration of a woman having a hard time getting off the toilet, and then it cut to B-roll of someone saying, and this is why squats are so important to do. And something clicked for me in that instance because what I interpreted in watching this illustration of a woman's struggle was lack of freedom, and I value freedom, not just lifestyle freedom, financial freedom, freedom of time, etc. I didn't realize until that moment that I also valued mobility freedom, being independent and not needing anyone, especially in a moment in time like that, and something so intimate, like using the restroom. So because I valued freedom so much, something in me was shaken, and I think within a day or so I had put a plan in place to do strength training three to four times a week and take that more seriously and realizing that it will have a compound effect when I'm 90. After seeing that video, I realized okay, if I start now, there is no way that I will have to be dependent on someone. I won't leave it up to chance that my health and my mobility will be in someone else's hands. It will always be in mine. If I can do something about it now, yeah, I will. And the big takeaway there for for folks, if they haven't ever sat down to evaluate their values, understanding what you value most in life and taking a moment to see how it patterns back to other areas of your life like health and finances and relationships, you'll see that there's a connecting thread. And for me, I had always seen the connecting thread with freedom through lifestyle, time and finances, but up until that moment I didn't understand how it related to health. And as a coach, I always work on myself too. I'm I am my best client. I do the work that I encourage my clients to do. And because I am always constantly open to being inspired and and seeing things differently, that day clicked for me. That valuing freedom also had a correlation to health. And knowing that I valued that so much, now strength training is important for me, especially as a woman, which you're I know you teach your clients about this. Bone strength for us is so important, and being able to move on our own and independence is important, and I want to be that really strong old lady at 90 years old that everybody's like she still gets around great for 90. Exactly, and that I get to tell the kids and say, make sure you're strength training and you're lifting weights three to four times a week. So, yeah, that was my big moment that changed a lot for me in terms of my health, and it continues to compound. Like that was one new action and habit that got incorporated into my overall health life cycle. And I know that you you talk about this, it doesn't all come at once. Sometimes you'll get inspired out of nowhere of something new to help you change your life.

SPEAKER_01 29:24

Yeah, you have to always be willing to try new things, always be willing to look at things from a new perspective. And I feel like that's a lot of what we're talking about in this episode. It's it this type of conversation, while it is a conversation that I have on the podcast and and have with my clients and things like that, it's different from what most people expect. Like you come to a health and wellness podcast and you're expecting to hear, yeah, you should be weightlifting, you should be doing these things, but you're not always listening to the mindset piece of it. Exactly. And that really is such a foundational piece to all of it. It really is a big fuel. Let me introduce to you the very first official sponsor of the Isn't She Powerful podcast. I am so dang excited to share this company with you because I've personally been using and loving them for over a year now. Today's sponsor is Seventh Creations. If you've been listening for a while, you know that I am really intentional about what I put in my body, but I am also mindful of what I put on my body. And these products have completely changed the game for my skin. My three favorites that I keep using over and over and over again are the Restore Tallow Face Balm, the Lip Balm, and the Whipped Tallow Body Butter. And when I tell you these make my skin feel so soft, I mean noticeably different. I saw changes in the texture of my skin within just a few uses, especially in the dry and rough patches. And that's why I've stayed consistent with them ever since. My husband compliments my skin all the time now, and it is so exciting. Now, if you're thinking, okay, wait a second, what is tallow? Let me break it down super simply. Tallow is rendered beef fat. And before modern skincare products, it was one of the most commonly used moisturizers. And that is because it is incredibly rich in vitamins A, D, E, and K. And the makeup of the tallow is actually really similar to our own skin's natural oils. And that means that your skin recognizes it, absorbs it easily, and allows it to stay hydrated without feeling greasy. So instead of slathering on lotions filled with synthetic ingredients, your skin doesn't even know what to do with. Tallow is a really beautiful and nourishing back to the basics alternative. One of the things that I love most about Seventh Creations is their integrity. They partner with local rangers and hand-select the highest quality vitamin-packed tallow so that you actually know where it's coming from and can trust that it's good for you. They never add synthetics, which gives you total peace of mind using their products day after day. And I just have to mention the price for a second because that matters. You guys know that. Their products are significantly more affordable than other leading tallow brands without sacrificing the quality of the product. Making high-quality, clean skincare accessible is one of Seventh Creation's top priorities. If you've been wanting a healthier swat for your everyday lotion or skincare routines, this is such an easy place to start. Or if you haven't been thinking about it, but now you're feeling inspired to give it a try, I just truly cannot recommend Seventh Creations enough. Seventh Creations was kind enough to offer us a 10% discount for the listeners of the show. So you can use the links down in the show notes to grab your own containers and try my favorite products for yourself using the code Laura10, L-A-U-R-A-10 for 10% off of your first order. And trust me, your skin will thank you. I want to kind of talk a little bit to a big piece of why so many people listen to this podcast, which is cravings and food noise and all of those situations around their relationship with food. Talk to me a little bit about how having we've mentioned like the evidence, right? Like you've been on a diet, you failed, now you have evidence that it's not possible for you. Talk a little bit about how that evidence also fuels us into having more cravings and more food noise. How does that play into that?

SPEAKER_00 33:19

Well, it's called a feedback loop in our mind because you are engaging in an activity, it's producing you to take an action, a particular action, and then you take perhaps maybe another action that could be, you know, you might be on the couch and you might be feeling bored. Let's put it, let's make this a tangible example of what a feedback loop could be. You might be sitting on the couch and you might be thinking about everything that you have to do, but overall you feel bored. And you know you have to do a lot of things, but you don't really want to do anything, and then all of a sudden you get a craving for some something sweet. And you get off the couch and you look around and you find the the sweet treat, and then you eat the sweet treat, and then your brain lights up with the feel-good hormones and the dopamine. You're like, wow, this feels amazing, and you give your brain some type of a reward. Your brain is getting a very quick reward from very little action. What did you do there? All you had to do was get out of the couch, go to the pantry, grab the snack, and you've got your dopamine. You would probably get the same dopamine hit had you gone through your to-do list or fold the laundry, etc. So the reason why, in part, we could get cravings is because we are reinforcing a feedback loop that is not serving us. And what can we do to change that feedback loop is interrupting. When you catch yourself, oh, I'm craving something sweet, can you in that moment practice interrupting and say, wait a minute, what am I really after here? Am I actually craving something sweet, or could I actually just be dehydrated? Or is it that I really just need to do something else? So sometimes cravings, and this is not, I will disclaimer, it's not my area of expertise. I'm speaking through it from the lens of understanding um feedback loops in the brain, and sometimes the problem presents itself in a very different way than what the problem actually is. So the craving might not actually be the problem. What are you intending the craving to resolve for you? And maybe underneath that there's something more that you need to explore.

SPEAKER_01 35:28

Oh, okay. Okay, let's dig into that more because that sounds like it's gonna be a really juicy conversation. I know that you mentioned that you used to struggle with overeating. So talk a little bit to your situation, your struggle with that, and how what you uncovered through digging a little bit layer deeper.

SPEAKER_00 35:47

Yeah, and the work never stops. So, this is why I'm able to bring examples because this internal work never stops. And I want to preface that to the listeners to know that how you always vouch for this, that this is a lifelong thing. So you're never gonna stop learning about yourself and your food habits and how you see health. It's it's gonna be there forever, but it's always rewarding. So, my particular experience was there was a season in life in which I caught myself that I would overeat at every meal to the point where I would experience pain. I would feel so full. It was as if I was filling myself to the brim, and then I couldn't fit anything more, and I would still continue to eat. And I remember that I would look forward to eating because of the flavors and savoring everything, and I just wanted to just stuff myself. And I remember at one point I paused and I just asked myself, why do I keep doing this to myself? Because I know I'm so uncomfortable for hours later, even though I look forward to eating. But why do I take it to the next level? Why do I take it so far? And I realized through doing the internal work is that I was turning to food and taking it so far because I was seeking pleasure and control, and I was lacking pleasure and control in other aspects of my life. It was a season of life in which my career wasn't going as I wanted, family relationships weren't going as I wanted. A lot of things felt like they were out of my control. But the one thing I could control unconsciously, I didn't know that it was conscious to me at the time, but unconsciously, food felt like something I can control. I can control how much I eat, I can control how much I put in my mouth. No one could tell me what to do. And at that season in life, I felt like other people were trying to tell me what to do. And uh, I turned to food, and realizing that allowed me to get a lot of power back and begin to check myself at every meal and practice little by little. It didn't happen overnight. There were instances where I did overeat and I would remind myself and say, Oh, you did it again, what's going on? What happened today, what happened yesterday, what happened this week, and explore and be kind to myself and remind myself that I was learning a new way of being until I reached a point where now I'm happy that if I feel satiated, I'm done. And I feel good about it. And I, if I'm finding myself that I might take it out on food to address what I might be lacking, I have a higher sense of accountability now to ask myself what is it that I feel I'm lacking and can I address it in that actual area and not through food.

SPEAKER_01 38:23

I think that that right there is proof that there is so much power in you being aware and being willing to take a second and pause. You know what I mean? Like so often we're eating so fast and we don't even want to take a second and pause because what is that gonna what's gonna come up when I take a second and pause? You know what I mean? I'm gonna realize that I'm unhappy in my life. That sucks. I'd just rather eat and feel uncomfortable, right? You know, so sometimes I feel like it's a little bit of a choice in a way, and so we have to be willing. This is what I keep telling my clients, it's been my thing all of this year. You have to be willing to get uncomfortable sometimes. You just have to be willing to, you know, do the thing that doesn't feel great in the moment, but you know that there's something good on the other side of it. Yes, absolutely, 100%. And I I I kind of apply that to you know, whether it be the physical, like going on the walks, sometimes you don't want to, whether it be going in, you know, going to the gym, sometimes you don't want to, you don't want to do your meal prep every time, but you know that there's something good on the other side of it. Same thing with the mindset stuff. Yes, you don't always want to break out your journal and you don't always want to take a pause, you just want to finish your dinner. But when you do do those things, man, you feel so much better on the other side of it.

SPEAKER_00 39:36

You do, you feel more empowered, you feel like you do have a sense of control, you you feel good about yourself, you feel good about what you've discovered because once you can see it, in my case, like once I can see what the problem is or how it's been presenting itself in ways that really isn't serving me, you're absolutely right. Sometimes it's inconvenient to take out the journal, but I know that only good can come of it on the other side. And like a tip there is usually I'll future pace myself on the other side of the uncomfortable thing. Definitely I can relate to not wanting to do my strength training on certain days, but there is never a strength training session that I've done that I have ever regretted. So for me, I have to think about 30 minutes after that session when I'm taking a shower and getting dressed again, that I'm thinking, man, that was a really great workout. And anchoring into those feelings as if they've already happened makes me more inclined to do it. Yeah, and that's one way to hack motivation is to think of it already being done. You already did it, the meal prep is done. Picturing that moment when you put that last Tupperware in the fridge and you think, Oh, my meals are done for the week, that feeling is so incredible. So, yeah, thinking future pacing, thinking after it's being done, it's uncomfortable in the moment, but if you can think about everything being done, feeling good, fulfilled, happy, content with yourself, and it just makes it easier to do.

SPEAKER_01 41:04

Yeah, because you would benefit you're using that term future pacing, and I I that's something that I actually have an activity that I do with the girls in my group coaching program for future pacing. But I like in the episode that we recorded that didn't record, I liked how you used it like 15 minutes from now. How am I gonna feel in 15 minutes? And if I get up and I do this thing that I'm putting off doing, am I going to feel good or am I gonna feel bad? And if I sit around on the couch, am I gonna feel good or am I gonna feel bad 15 minutes from now? Yeah. And I think because like sometimes I feel like we, you know, we future pace like a year from now. We can try to like envision what my life will be like later on, like time and time after this. But I just want to know in 15 minutes if I get up and do it, you know?

SPEAKER_00 41:48

Yeah, that is such a good point, Laura. No one's ever painted it actually in that way of that we normally future pace so far in our van. So it doesn't feel very motivating because it feels like the runway. Yeah, the runway feels so long, but oh my gosh, you just helped me realize something that why future pacing in a shorter spurt works so well is because you can act. It's so tangible. It's so tangible because you know that those 15 minutes are gonna happen pretty soon. Yeah. So if you just future pace yourself to 15 minutes after the activity is done, like especially if like you're about to get up right now and go to the fridge and grab an unhealthy snack, you can say, wait a minute, 15 minutes after I eat that snack, am I gonna be happy? Am I going to be satisfied? Or am I gonna be upset at myself? Which one do I want to choose? And a question that I think everyone can can take note of and always ask yourself is would it feel good to have done? That is the key question. Write it down on on a notepad, something, and always ask, would it feel good to have done? And I think you'll get a lot of revelation just from answering that question before you engage in any habit that you're even negotiating if you're negotiating with yourself, I think that's already an indication. Yeah. But if you future pace yourself and ask, would it feel good to have done, you'll get the answer of what what would be right for you to do.

SPEAKER_01 43:06

A hundred percent. And just last week from when we're recording this episode, I went on a vacation with my family. We went to Myrtle Beach. It was just my parents and my sister and I, and being back in that environment with them, it was so easy to fall back into old habits because like that's the environment where those habits were created, you know. So it was so easy. I just wanted to eat the entire bag of funyins. I just wanted to eat all of the candy and not drink any water and drink all of the soda. Like I wanted to fall back into those old patterns because it just felt that just felt natural. It wasn't even like I was like thinking or making a choice, it just was what my body naturally gravitated towards wanting to do. I think going back to the conversation about the pathways in our brain, those old pathways are still there. Yes, you know, like I I'm definitely like they might they might be a little bit more overgrown now. Yes, but when I'm in that environment, it's like my my brain. wants to go down those pathways instead of these new pathways.

SPEAKER_00 44:03

Yeah, absolutely. When you were mentioning this memory of being with your family and engaging and having maybe the whole bag of chips when maybe all you intended was a little bit more and if it still applies in this context is that sometimes we'll engage in habits and ways of being for acceptance and to be that's what I want to say part of our of our community because if we think back to the cavemen days if you were kicked out of the group it meant death. Like you couldn't survive on your own and our primitive brain the primitive part of our brain is still very much active you might hear people call it the lizard brain the primitive brain it's there for survival and it does an amazing job. It's doing its job how incredible is it that your brain is always scanning to protect you but it doesn't understand context in this instance that it doesn't need to protect you from feeling like you're gonna be completely left out of your family because you changed a habit. Your family's not going to kick you out of the tribe and you're not going to die. So sometimes we unconsciously fall into a behavior or a habit or a way of acting as a form of belonging because who doesn't want to belong that's not a bad thing. I think where we can maybe it's not even bad. I want to be very mindful about good or bad it's just what is aligned with your goals and what is not that's truly what it is let's you know move away from good or bad we might fall into things that are unaligned with our goals because unconsciously the subconscious part of our minds is driving the bus and saying hey let's belong we want to belong we don't want to get ostracized. So our brain will do that sometimes and how do we catch ourselves self-awareness like taking a pause for me specifically I know that in some instances I've stopped recently because I've caught myself but there were times in the past where in gatherings I would over I would eat even though I wasn't hungry but it was a way of staying in connection with the group everybody else is eating everybody else has a blate night yes especially like at a networking event everyone has uh you know a glass of champagne or something like that and constantly eating and sometimes I wasn't hungry but I felt odd weird left out if I wasn't engaging and that's a good way to also be self-aware and see wait why why am I eating this because I know I had a really good meal before I came so I'm not really interested yeah what am I truly after so what you described that happened in your experience when you went out with your family could have been that because I'm not a doctor I'm not a psychologist but and I want to be very sensitive about that but I do want to give the information that empowers someone to take a pause and ask and assess and say wait a minute why am I engaging in this?

SPEAKER_01 46:48

Yeah I feel like whenever it comes to families it feels a little bit more challenging you know what I mean like it it's a little bit easier when you're meeting people that you don't necessarily really know you're at a party or something like that. It's a little bit easier but yeah when it comes to your family whether that be immediate or a little bit more extended totally it is more charged. And so I think for some people you know I think you and I are really lucky that the husbands that we have are super supportive whatever what pretty much whatever we say goes. It's a tablet in my house. Yeah we're like the tablet yeah for sure teams yeah for sure and so we're lucky in that but I do feel like there are some people who you know a lot of the clients that I work with their spouses are not as supportive they're you know and it's not even like it directly mean you know it's not like they're trying to be like that but they're like well I'm not eating that or you I'm okay you can have that but I'm gonna have this pizza or whatever you know it's their husbands or their kids or whoever that they're feeling like not necessarily are they feeling judged by them but it is they're an obstacle and is it more challenging to stay healthy with those people. So talk a little bit about how to navigate that situation if you have any advice to that.

SPEAKER_00 48:03

Oh absolutely and I know that we talked about this a little earlier but you just speaking on that triggered a re a memory that I had forgotten about. So you know my transition story from a you know regular standard diet to a vegan diet. I forgot up until now that when I transitioned I transitioned by myself and when I on my own I made the decision for myself I didn't convince anyone but I remember at the time I was dating my husband we were just boyfriend and girlfriend and he had come over and it was the day that I decided I was going to tell him it felt like a really big announcement for some reason but it really should just be like hey I'm not gonna eat meat anymore but I remember being very timid about telling him and I said listen here's the decision I'm about to make I just want you to know that I'm no longer going to have meat I'm exploring a vegan diet and his response to me was very defensive and it was one of well don't expect meat to transition I'm I'm still eating meat just let's be clear. So it was very defensive a little hard and I feel like that is an in a a good example of totally you're making a decision you're informing someone because you want them to know what you're taking on what your journey's gonna look like but in that moment yes there were feelings of oh is he not gonna love me anymore is he going to now want to break up with me because he doesn't want to date someone who has a vegan diet but in that moment I decided well this is what I value right now. This is my own journey I'm not forcing anyone into anything I'm not preaching to anyone about it. I'm just informing so that people have an awareness of my dietary needs from now on and I had to really remember why I was doing it and saying this is not against anyone. This is not doing anything against him this is for my health you know why I did I had a lot of health issues in that moment in time and I was looking to change into a plant-based diet to address those health concerns. So because I had that big why in my mind it that was a really big anchor for me for staying true to my decision and not swaying or bending to appease my then boyfriend and of course I would have not wanted him to break up with me but I was willing to accept that if for some reason he was that superficial thankfully he wasn't if he was that superficial I had to be okay with that so if the listener is taking anything away from this story is know your why know why you're doing what you're doing because when you know your why and you're anchored into the why you're like a bamboo tree. You might sway but nothing's gonna break you. I don't know if the bamboo tree is the right one or is it the oak tree? You might sway but nothing is going to break you because you're so anchored in your why and the purpose behind why you're taking on this health journey and deciding to turn things around and making changes that that really changes everything because as long as I always remembered my why it didn't matter what comment anyone made.

SPEAKER_01 51:04

Yeah because you got comments not just from him but you got comments from family and that's really hard I got comments like that too of like oh Laura's healthy now she's not gonna eat that Laura's healthy now she doesn't do that Laura's healthy now and it was always from such like a negative place. Right? Ugh it's so hurtful.

SPEAKER_00 51:20

It is hurtful it really is hurtful and I know that we talked about a little earlier that just like how we talked about jealousy that when you identify something in someone it's because you want it will fit put yourself for a moment and the other person shoes. Maybe they want the same thing that you're going after. They don't know how to react a different way to your courage of taking on a new endeavor of taking on this health journey of changing your life around they want what you have but they perhaps they lack potentially the inner resources the wherewithal the self-image to allow them to say wait if if Laura can do it I get we came from the same place. Yep we grew up the same we're we were in the same community all of these similarities she's doing I can do it too. That just means she's a an example she's a model she's a framework that that is only an indication of what is going on in that person's mind. It doesn't alter who you actually are or why you're doing it. So I hope that is a helpful reframe for others that the same way that you can look at good qualities within people and see that they're within you if you notice yourself picking at the negative qualities that just means that you're not allowing yourself to see something that that person is being courageous enough to do.

SPEAKER_01 52:40

Totally and I think it speaks to the fact that so often when we start a journey like this it's coming from a place of negativity and and hatred in a way for ourselves. You know like oh well we stepped on the scale and it said something that we didn't want to see and so we hate that number and so we wouldn't change that number. We saw a picture of ourselves and we didn't like what we saw in that picture. We hated what we saw and we wanted to change it. And that hatred just fuels more hatred. And of course the diet's gonna suck and of course you're not gonna enjoy the journey because you're doing it because you don't like yourself. You know whereas if you reframe it and go on this journey because you love yourself like I love myself enough to eat vegetables. Doesn't that feel so much better than I'm eating this because I'm fat and I hate myself exactly well you take care of things you love right so by as a byproduct if you're taking care of yourself that means you love yourself. Yes I just had a flashback to like growing up the neighbor beside us had this car and he would wash his car like two or three times a week and it would always be like what is this man doing outside washing his car all the time and meanwhile our cars are getting dinged up and we're not taking that good care of them and like yeah you do you take care of the things that you love and over time that that man's car will go a lot better than our cars.

SPEAKER_00 54:01

You know think of that as your health yeah think of it as your body your body is doing so many beautiful things for you right now Laura your body right now is keeping you breathing it's blinking it's keeping you aware of what we're saying present creating connection it's keeping you alive why not take care of our beautiful body and we're gonna be with it for another 50 60 70 years. Why not take care of it? Why instead of letting it deteriorate as if we don't have a choice in the matter why not realize we have a choice in the matter and take care of this beautiful vehicle we've been given for the time that we are here what a great honor to honor our body and to show ourselves that love that we show towards other people towards other things towards objects why not direct some of that towards us yeah yeah and I want to circle back because I meant to say this before and then we just went on the tangent but Edgar your husband does now eat he does he eats vegan now so like lead by example.

SPEAKER_01 55:04

You know like these and I would love for you to tell the story of that transition for him but like so often the people that we are saying that come to us and they're like well don't expect me to do it with you if you just like sprinkle in a little bit of it here and there show them guide them without it being so forceful and directful like grabbing your hand and pulling them down the path. Instead you just lead by example. Yeah and I promise you eventually they're going to follow suit.

SPEAKER_00 55:29

Absolutely I'm glad that you brought that around but yeah it was if I could summarize it that's exactly what happened. I led by example and not with the intention of ever changing him or anyone around me. I led by example because I was learning so much about plant-based diet and where to get my protein where to get fiber where to get iron because I was relearning how to eat in in a way and I was just naturally excited about what I was learning so I would in conversation oh I learned this new thing and so now I you know like tofu I didn't realize that you could marinate tofu overnight and it'll take on the flavors even better. So you know chicken is no longer uh missing chicken or the meatiness of chicken is no longer a a problem. And I think by me being naturally excited starts to loosen the resistance wall that goes up. But I the moment that really tipped him over the edge I so I think all the that time leading up to this moment I'm about to explain was just loosening without me doing it on purpose. I was just naturally excited about seeing results and feeling better and sharing everything I learned. And then one day he was open-minded and uh decided to watch uh a documentary with me for silver knives and we both learned in that instance how some things related to dairy were causing his uh lactose intolerance and caused his type 1 diabetes so my husband has type 1 diabetes he was diagnosed at 12 years old and now he's 37 38 and so he's been living with it all his life and in this documentary they spoke of how dairy cells had an impact on creating type 1 diabetes and so interesting and that diagnosis so don't quote me exactly on that go watch the documentary they'll explain it much better because I'm I'm not a doctor but the point being that that moment was a light bulb moment for him because after the documentary the dairy thing real understanding that plant based could lower his A1C drastically all of that combined within a few days he was more open minded and he said okay I'd like to give full plant based for uh for some time I want to give a plant based diet a try will you help me? Those are golden words golden to your ears yeah golden words to anyone who's been on the journey and then someone finally comes sees that you have been working hard and then they see you as a resource so think about the journey you're going on is not just for you it really does benefit other people. So from that moment on he became plant based and now I am about to celebrate 10 years. I mean not celebrate there's nothing to celebrate but I'm coming on 10 years since transitioning and he joined me a year later okay and um and it's been great his A1C is has been the lowest it's ever been on this plant-based diet and I'm not pushing plant based but only highlighting all the benefits of it and we feel fantastic we feel great sure we've had our own ups and downs health wise because we're human no one diet is gonna cure everything but all of that is to point out that by me just sticking to my why my vision knowing that I was doing it for myself over time it benefited the people around me and slowly but surely other family members depending on if they were going through something I started noticing that they would call my husband or call me and say hey so uh the doctor said that I needed to start you know watching this particular thing. How do you substitute that with plant based oh but this was the person who was doing jabs at me at one point but I let it slide off of me because it was not anything to do with me and now the same people are coming to me as to be a resource and that's what will happen to so many of the listeners here to you and I'm sure that people do that with you too. All the time that they'll be Laura hey you happen to know a lot I've seen you I've followed you for two years. Yep tell me more about this so you'll never know how your efforts will compound into results for other people too.

SPEAKER_01 59:39

Yeah and like you said you just have to kind of let those things slide off and even though they might they might get under your skin or it might hurt you in this initially hurt a lot yeah it does but and and I do feel like again I feel like it's easier because those people were outside and they weren't like in your house all the time. Right.

SPEAKER_00 59:58

You know but it's temporary that's a good point.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:00

So if you're getting that from like a person that you live with it can be a little bit more challenging to let it slide but you really just have to be diligent in saying this isn't about me. I'm on my own journey I know that this is going to have lasting positive impacts I can't see them right now. I don't know what they'll be but I trust that that that's gonna be the case. Absolutely and you just have to keep trucking. Yeah absolutely we talked earlier about like willpower and I feel like that conversation comes up again here because sometimes it is like you do you have to you know I always say willpower is not the answer. Like I have so many podcast episodes that are talking about willpower and how willpower is is not going to get you far. Right. But sometimes it will get you over the little hump. Yes you know you just have to push yourself a little bit yeah I agree.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:48

I feel like I see willpower like in my mind like an image of a like a little booster. Yes like a like a I don't know like a Mario Kart you hit a Mario Kart you hit that one button that gives you a little pop. Yes that's how I see willpower it's like just that little bit because overall I think what allows us to sustain the vision is our self-image and how we see ourselves. Will we have days that will test us, try us we have hard weeks we have weeks where we're slammed and maybe we might default to an unaligned habit on an unaligned behavior and sometimes we'll need a little willpower be like you know what hold on this is really hard right now but let me get that little booster right now let me tap into my reserve and boost through absolutely I I think that's good. Yeah that's how I see willpower but what what I think always allows me personally and the women that I work with is really creating a strong self-image of yourself how you see yourself a a woman who is resourceful in every area of her life in health in making her meals in her finances everything if you see yourself as someone who will not tolerate anything lower than her vision like that will take you very far. Couple that with a little willpower on the hard days and that really does get you very far.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:10

Absolutely that and also having you know these actions the habits built up that you're still gonna do these habits even though you don't want to get up and do your meal prep you know that like you said earlier this is a busy week and you have a lot going on so you're gonna make sure that you have that meal prep done even though it sucks in the moment to get up and do it man the whole week you're gonna feel so much better because of it.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:34

Yes you do I do that all the time with um well I was telling you earlier that I have a new love affair with making big batches of stew and I found these silicone molds. Yeah and yes it's hard to make a huge I don't know 20 quart I don't know what the measurement but it's a big pot like this. Yeah like I'm feeding a community of people and it sucks in the more in the moment that's a lot of onions a lot of chopping but then I pour everything into molds and I throw it in the freezer and I tell you on a hard long day when I you know my fridge is empty and I remember I have frozen stew that's full of protein fiber all my veggies everything I say thank you past me. Yep thank you past me for powering through using that little bit of willpower you had left on the day that you really didn't want to do it and I took care of future me in that moment so that I could stay aligned with my goals. So sometimes it's saying how can I take care of future me right now.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:34

Yes yeah and I I mentioned earlier about the fast chart of mapping out you know feelings, sayings and thoughts of the future version of yourself I had a client in the past who said what would future Marielle do in this situation. Oh that's it. And I loved that I really did enjoy hearing her like when she just put it into that simple sentence like she she had a really hard time with cravings and all of the things that I really help women with and so when she put it into that situation of like she's faced with the choice of should I go into the kitchen and eat the entire chocolate bar or should I not what would the future version of me do? And when you start to ask yourself that question and you start to act accordingly you become that future version right now. Right now you don't have to wait it's not a future version you're already her now because you make the choice in the way that she would yeah that is such a good way to put it such a good way to put it okay the last conversation topic that I want to talk about is self-sabotage. I want to talk about why that happens from a neurological perspective what's going on in our brains because so many women that I work with they're seeing results they're losing the weight they're not having the cravings they're feeling good and then they self-sabotage and then now the scale's back up and they feel bad about themselves again. So talk to me about what's going on why does self-sabotage exist?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:56

Yeah everyone goes through it if that helps us you know bring down the pressure a little bit we all go through it in every area of our life we might sabotage in health in wellness in relationships we'll all do it because we all reach a capacity for how much we will allow ourselves to have in that area for how much good for how much abundance for how much amazingness can happen in that area of life so unconsciously when we see that we're doing so good and we're building up that evidence that we're doing amazing there is a bit of a part of us that fears what could happen if it gets too good sometimes. And that's where that self-awareness and identifying what's happening below the surface why wouldn't I want to have all of this amazingness happen in my life why wouldn't I want to be the healthiest version of myself why am I really self sabotaging and then the other part is our self sabotage is a form of how the mind is protecting us because the mind Mind will always protect us, the unconscious mind will always protect us from anything it perceives is danger. And anything that is unfamiliar is danger.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:10

Even if it's good for us, because the mind, the unconscious mind doesn't have a track record of what happens in this unfamiliar territory. It can only create scenarios in our mind based on past experiences. So when we self-sabotage, a question to ask is first, like, what is it? What are you finding yourself that you are not allowing yourself to show up in that highest version of yourself in your highest self-image? What is causing that? What would you fear would happen on the other side? If things went really, really well, you got the result you wanted, your clothes are fitting incredibly, you're feeling amazing. What do you fear might happen on the other side? Sometimes we unconsciously fear that people will hate us. Sometimes we'll unconsciously fear that people will want to kick us out of the group in whatever way. Because again, we don't ever want to be outside of the community, we want to belong. And then for me, one unconscious uh way that I found that I was self-sabotaging along my own health journey is one day I realized that I didn't want to continue doing so well because that meant my clothes weren't fitting me because they were so loose, and then that means I would have to spend money on buying new clothes. And that's a lot, a whole closet of clothes that don't fit me. That's overwhelming. That's overwhelming to think I have to go to the mall and buy all a replacement for everything.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:35

So our minds will be like, pump the brakes, hold on, survival, money, all these things ha are intertwined in our minds, and then you know, we we reach our capacity for how how good it could be, and then we default back to unhelpful patterns, and then we blame it on other things.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:54

Yeah, right. Oh, I was just so busy. Oh, well, the season changed. Oh, we went on vacation and whatever. We come up with these excuses, but really it is that there was some level of I I think you're right. For me, it comes up as fear a lot of times, fear of the unknown or whatever that may be, and fear of it not working again. Like I don't want to let myself down again. I've been down this road before, I've been on the diet before. I don't want to feel the feelings of failing again because that sucks, you know what I mean? And so I feel like that was a big piece of it for me for a really long time of why I continued to self-sabotage faster and faster every time I started over again. It was like that cycle went faster and faster because I was like, I just I want to get to the end of this because it feels uncomfortable to get so much further along and then fail. Like I'd rather fail now than then be further down the road and then fail.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:48

Exactly. What you're describing is you wanted to move away from pain. So think right there, the mind knows what pain is, and you were associating a future that did that didn't exist, but you were only creating that image in your mind because of past evidence, because your mind didn't have new successful evidence, and today is a good day to start giving your mind new successful evidence and change that. But yeah, it's very interesting how that that was occurring in you. Feelings of pain are coming in, that feeling of failure. The mind is like, uh-uh, gotta protect this girl. We don't want pain, let's get it over with, let's give her some dopamine. We know that all these things make her happy, even if they're unaligned, but she'll feel good. Let's give that to her. There's our mind protecting us and loving on us, but we're like the adults, I guess, that we have to think, hold on, we're more in control than we think. Who do I want to become? I'm willing to see this differently and stack evidence in favor of showing myself that I can have a very different future than I've ever had before.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:51

Yeah, I love, I don't know if you've ever seen the movie, and I don't know why I love this movie so much, but it's the it's the movie with the little people in your head, and you know what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:02

Oh, my nephew loves this movie, and I love this movie. Inside out. Inside out. Inside out.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:06

That's I love yeah, exactly. It's like I I envision like the little there's little people, and every time you start a new diet, they pull out the file folder and they're like, look at this time and this time and this time and this time, and they're just giving you new evidence every day of like it's not gonna work. Ding, that's it, that's exactly it. But if we want to get over that, we just have to create new evidence. Is that the way to get over it?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:30

Yes, we have to create new evidence by way of. I will circle back on that. How do you see yourself? What are the standards that you've been tolerating up to now that you know are not aligned anymore, but you've just been tolerating them because they're familiar, you know what to expect, you know how to plan for it, you know how to work around it, you know what happens. Write all those down. What are those standards that you've been tolerating? What are the new standards that you want to move into? What will become your new standard of like your barometer that you will tolerate from now on, and where it will make it easy for all of the unaligned things to just fall away. You call it like on the plate, like crowding out, but this is and this is also an in like an even more intentional analysis of yourself of who you are. Like when you go into a room, let's say remodel, like those who love interior design, and you go or DIY and you go into a room in your house and you say, you know what, I think it's time for a remodel. Well, what are the things that are no longer working for you in that room? I'm sure you make a list, this isn't working, this is what I want, this is what it has to look like. You're doing that with yourself and in your mind as well. Here are all the things that I that are not working for me anymore for where I want to go, and then we make a list of all the things that we would like to have in our lives, the habits that would be great, behaviors, the ways of believing in in health and in ourselves. And we start to make intentional decisions around well, what are some things that I know I can change? What support do I need to make these changes? In comes your program to be able to make those changes. And overall, taking those steps to change into the version of you who is living that grand vision in your life and allowing yourself to believe that you can be that person, that even though you don't have evidence in your past from your family, from your friends, that you can make that change. Maybe you're the first one in your family who's been brave enough and courageous enough to want to stop chronic, you know, disease or bad health choice, not bad, sorry, unhelpful, bad. I'm human, like everyone. Unhelpful and unaligned health choices, maybe it stops with you because the people who come after you will see you as a model for more aligned choices. So it's constantly always asking, who do I want to be? Who do I want to become? And what can I do today to get closer to that person?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:05

Yeah, and I I think that that's ultimately how you build the evidence. I think we want that evidence to come quickly. Yeah, but you have you have to build that evidence, they're just showing up every single day, like continuing to make the choices day in and day out. And before you know it, you now believe that it's capable for you because you're living this lifestyle because you made the choices to get to that lifestyle.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:28

Absolutely, and one day something will happen where you're presented with a situation, an experience, something, and you catch yourself making a very different choice without thinking, without negotiating, and in that moment you'll catch yourself because it happens to me all the time when I'm making deliberate changes in my life, where I think, wait, past me would have thought very differently about that. That just came so natural. So just know that in time you will truly just become a whole new person, and not a whole new person in the way that people think that people won't recognize you and you you truly are inside out a whole new person. No, this is more so a person who lives in alignment with their goals and their vision.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:11

Yeah. Oh, I love this conversation. I really think that so many people are gonna get so much out of the conversation that we just had. It would have gotten so much out of the first conversation too, but this is what they get. So hopefully it recorded this time.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:25

Yes, this time, yes, there was a lot of evidence that showed that we were recording, so let's hope so.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:30

That's right, we have the evidence to prove it. Thank you so much for being on the podcast, Heidi. Where can everybody find you? Where can they come and continue to learn from you?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:40

Yeah, um, you can come over to my podcast, Confident, Magnetic, and Wealthy, where I talk about all topics around money mindset, up-leveling in your life. I help women break through upper limits around earning more money because I believe that when women feel safe to earn more money, they expand what is possible for their community, their family, for themselves. I've seen what a multiple six-figure income can do in my life, how it's broken cycles in my family. And I want to bring this information to women so that women feel empowered to feel safe and worthy of having a lot of money. I'll send you the links to my Instagram. It's Heidi Caminero on Instagram and threads. And I'd love to gift to your listeners the wealth embodiment bundle that you've experienced so that so that they can get a taste of what it feels like to take steps to rewire their mind as it relates to money.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:37

That's really kind. I will say to everybody listening, I've been listening to, she has multiple things in there, subliminals and all kinds of things. I've been listening to the subliminals very consistently, as well as the other things, but specifically those. And I've just really been enjoying them. I feel like I'm benefiting so much from them. Thank you. And I really like them too because whenever I am finding myself like in a in a state of like overthinking, negative negativity spiraling, I just turn them on and like you don't hear you talking because they're subliminal. So it's just like really calming music. It brings me back down to earth. It's really a beautiful thing to have. And I mean, for anybody who is experiencing the same limiting belief that you have of like if I lose the weight, then I'm gonna have to get all new clothes and I don't want to spend the money on that. This would be a perfect listen to it.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:26

Yes, yes, thank you so much for it.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:28

Thank you for giving that to the audience. Yes, and Heidi, I really appreciated you being on the podcast and spending so much time with me today. Thank you. I appreciated it. And everybody, please make sure that you have subscribed to the podcast. Don't forget to tune in every single week on YouTube or on Apple, wherever you listen to the podcast. Thank you so much for being here, and I cannot wait to see you in the next one. Thank you so much. I can't wait to see you again next week, and always remember the more you know, the more you grow.